Milestone Momentum

If the current state of my Facebook is any indication, I am one of the masses of parents experiencing major changes at the end of May. Last week my children graduated from 5th grade (yes, there’s a ceremony) and kindergarten (also a ceremony) and this week I will mark the 20 year mark of my graduation from Princeton (marked with a parade and fireworks which beats any ceremony to death).

Stay Present. My go-to activity in times of change is disappear through my phone, a TV screen, the door of a gym, you name it – anywhere but thinking about whatever is happening that is causing my emotions to brim. My emotional boxes overflow as much as my closet(s) and instead of re-stuffing, I’m committed to actually think, acknowledge and feel the feels this time. My babies are growing up and that is awesome. I don’t want to miss it.

 

Don’t Fall For It. Meanwhile, the cynic in me (you didn’t think someone broke into this site, did you?) is keeping me honest on whether I’m feeling MY feelings or what someone is trying to make me feel with manipulative music or because there is peer pressure as to how one is SUPPOSED to feel. I’m trying to be aware of my legitimate feelings and not get caught up in what normal people “should” be feeling. They rarely match.

 

Practice Gratitude. I have struggled staying consistent on this, but the practice of saying 3 things I am grateful for out loud every day has been a great brain-primer when I remember to do it. This is especially valuable to shift headspace and provide solid grounding on trying days – especially the days of gritting my teeth through kid stuff that is not in my wheelhouse (e.g. “ropes course” – the very mention of which used to strike fear in my heart). As a John Bell disciple, I believe all things can be solved by LifeHacker so here are 40 ideas on Gratitude Practices if you’re curious.

 

Expose My Own Journey. I want my kids to know that I’m not done learning and striving to accomplish more. I’m not ready to pass the baton on “my time” and live only through my kids – I fundamentally believe my most impactful years are ahead of me. Maybe its hereditary. My father was recently telling me about reading a short story out loud at a festival honoring a local writer and I realized he was sharing to expose the fact that at 80 he is still on HIS own journey of becoming. My husband is the grandson of a woman who won an Emmy in her 50s and became a published poet in her 90s. I can delight in supporting my children’s becoming AND not be done yet and I want them to see me reaching even when I fail (at tap dancing, restarting piano, applying for a community leadership program, etc) – I won’t stop and I don’t want them to either. Seeing me fail and prevail is strategic.